Friday, December 13, 2013

Dads R Fun!

The morning hustle is in progress, the kids eat breakfast.  I’m getting ready to go on a trip (to the Austin Film Festival, which, by the way, was so inspiring).  So I’m giving the family the last minute orders.


ME
OK guys, now while I’m away, you guys need to help Daddy.

Greg pipes in while he is packing the lunches (Yes, I have an AWESOME husband who saves me from the doldrums of the daily lunch packing.  And yes, I do REALLY appreciate it.).


GREG
Hey!  You’re making it sound like I’m a bad dad!

I begin detangling the rat’s nest upon Sasha’s head.


ME
I’m not saying that at all.  You are a fantastic DAD.  You’re just not a fantastic MOM.

SASHA
You know what's the best thing about Mom being away?

ME
What?

SASHA
I never have to comb my hair.




Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Rainbow Bands - Over My Head...

Sark and Sasha squat on the rug immersed in 1”, multicolored, rubber bands.  I wend my way through the room gathering stray shoes and pajamas.


SARK
Do you know how to make a single triple?

SASHA
That’s so easy.  How about a triple double?

As they strategize, each child weaves a rubber strand, bands strangling their mini fingers.


SARK
(clearly impressed)
Ohhh.  You know how to make a triple double?

I notice their finger tips seem to be turning purple.


SASHA
Oh yeah.  Kate just showed me last night.  With a triple double, you do the same as the single triple, but then you have to do a double over under and then a single under over then a triple under over.  It looks soooo cool!

SARK
Oh yeah.  That makes sense.  Do you know how to make a hexafish?


I lean in to examine their progress.  I can't resist...

ME
That looks like a double triple to me.  Are you sure Kate taught you correctly?


Sasha pauses to think.  She re-examines her work.

SASHA
I think you might be right.


I, of course, have no clue what I'm talking about, but maybe they don't either.

ME
Well, I'm just glad those things are "latex free".

END

Rainbow bands, an ingenious fad making someone millions.  Why did I waste my time with differential equations?  I should've spent my college years more inventively.  

While the kiddos are at school, I happen upon half a dozen mini bands scattered here and there.  Hmm, how did that one end up by my toothbrush?  Little clues as to Sasha's exploits.  Each colorful loop induces a smile, reminiscent of the fads of my childhood: friendship bracelets, ribbon barrettes, jelly bands, the list goes on...  

The thing I think is so cool about the rainbow band fad is there are so many different ways to make them.  The art is constantly evolving as different kids figure out different patterns and share them with their friends.  Each kid seems to have a specialty that they pass onto their friends.  Kids are mentoring each other right and left.  




Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Black and White

We took the kids to their first football game this weekend.  They have watched football on TV, but only a little bit.

EXT. VANDERBILT STADIUM - MIDDAY

We arrive at the game and are settling into our seats.

ME
Sasha, now the team we are rooting for is the black and white team, that’s Vanderbilt.

Sasha makes herself comfortable taking in the scene, observing the game for a bit.

SASHA
Why are all of the referees on our team?


Go Vandy!



Thursday, November 14, 2013

Tooth Fairy

INT. KITCHEN - AFTER DINNER

Sark and Sasha perch at the table savoring dessert.  I wash dishes at the sink.

SASHA
How much do you think I will get for my tooth?

SARK
I got four dollars for my first one.

ME
Do you think it will be the same tooth fairy for Sasha as it was for you?

SARK
I don’t know…

Sasha grins ear to ear dreaming of the candy she will buy with her Tooth Fairy money.

SASHA
I hope I get twenty dollars.

ME
Twenty dollars??  That seems like an awful lot of money for a tooth.

SARK
How clean is your tooth?  Is it in good shape?

SASHA
I think it’s pretty clean.

SARK
You should clean it.  You’ll get more that way.




INT. BATHROOM - LATER

Sark and Sasha struggle to hold the tooth and try to brush it with the electric toothbrush.

SASHA
This thing is going to be really clean.  I bet I’ll get more than four dollars.

SARK
I think you’ll have a different fairy than me.

SASHA
Yeah.  Mine will be a girl.  I bet yours is a boy.


INT. SASHA’S PINK OASIS, HER BEDROOM - LATER

I tuck Sasha into her pink bed.

SASHA
I’m going to sleep like this.

She pretends to sleep and holds her mouth open, bottom jaw jutting forward.

ME
Why are you going to sleep like that?

SASHA
So the Tooth Fairy can see that I lost a tooth.

ME
Well... that makes sense.

Sasha tucks the case with her tooth under her pillow.

ME (CONT’D)
Do you think maybe you should put the tooth out near the edge of your bed?

SASHA
Why would I do that?

ME
You know... so it’s easier for the Tooth Fairy to find.

SASHA
The Tooth Fairy is magical, Mommy.  She can shrink down and go under my pillow.

Sasha stops to ponder a thought.

SASHA (CONT’D)
I wonder if she’ll throw the tooth container on the floor like Sark’s Tooth Fairy.  That was so strange...

ME
I bet he was in a rush to get out before Sark saw him.

SASHA
That is so strange because if Sark woke up, why wouldn’t he just shrink himself down and hide under the bed?

ME
Maybe Sark woke up, so he shrank down, and then the tooth container was too heavy, so he had to drop it.

Sasha nods.

SASHA
Yeah… probably.





Wednesday, November 6, 2013

It's going around...

EXT.  WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL - AFTERNOON

ME
How was your day?  How are you feeling Sark?

SARK
Good.

ME
Henry is sick today too.  Both your buds out sick today, Henry and Lilli.

SARK
Yeah.

SASHA
Yeah... it’s going around.  But I already had it.

I look at Sasha in surprise.

ME
You already had it?

SASHA
(matter of fact)
Yeah.  I already had it.

ME
In August?

SASHA
Yeah.  You know, five people in my class were out sick with it today.

She holds up her mini hand with five fingers outstretched.

ME
But you already had it.  Three months ago?

SASHA
Yeah.  I think I’m safe, but Sark better watch out.  It’s going through the whole school.



Saturday, November 2, 2013

The Bradys Live On


I try to instill in the kids an appreciation for the finer things in life…

I bought the DVD collection of Season 1 - The Brady Bunch for the kids to consume during our yearly trek touring the homeland, the Northeast.

If you recall, Mike Brady was an architect.

INT. RESTROOM OFF OF HIGHWAY 81

Sark and Sasha are both in the bathroom stalls side by side.  I'm waiting, holding Sark's broken stall door closed.

SARK
Mom, what do you think of Mike Brady’s designs?

ME
Well... 

I roll my eyes and motion with my finger to move this along.

SARK
Sasha.  What do you think?

SASHA
I love the stairs!  I bet they would be fun to jump off.

SARK
Mom, what do you think, really?

FLUSH.  Sark tugs on the door and I release my hold.  He walks to the sink.  Sark pauses before washing his hands and turns to me, very serious...

SARK (CONT’D)
I mean, I really don’t think they are very good.


#GrandpaWouldBeProud

I’m a little concerned that Sasha’s favorite character is Marsha... Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.







Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Goggles

INT. MINIVAN - AFTERNOON

Sasha forages beneath the discarded sock, sweater, and headband.  She emerges grasping her swim goggles.  As she settles back into her booster seat, she pulls on the goggles.

SASHA
My goggles are tighter than yesterday.  How fast does your head grow?

I observe in the rearview mirror...

SARK
Well... let’s see.  Did you learn anything new today?

Sasha pauses, thinking... hard.

SASHA
Nope.

Sark pauses, thinking... hard.

SARK
Did you see anything new today?  Or... did you listen to anything new?

Sasha smiles... ding, ding, ding.

SASHA
I found my doggy purse...

Sark shakes his head and finally settles into his booster seat.

SARK
That must be it.  Your head grows when you learn new things.

Sasha shakes her head in agreement.  They each buckle up and put on the DVD headphones.  Sark launches the DVD with the remote.

I glance over my shoulder and back down the driveway.



Monday, August 19, 2013

In Honor of Sark's 9th Birthday - Observation on Dads

Sark went to the school office first thing this morning to collect his birthday pencil.

I brought Ghiardelli, "the Eagle brand" according to Sark, brownies to school today to celebrate Sark's birthday.

At lunch Sark tells me, "All of the kids coming late with the tardies are the dads bringing them."

#JustSaying

I never fail to be amazed by Sark's insightful observations:)

Friday, June 21, 2013

Flush Already!

I think sometimes we take going green a bit too seriously.  I appreciate the fact that my kiddos like to conserve water, but...really?

It's bad enough when you come upon an unflushed toilet, but it's even more disturbing when you find random plops with no Charmin.

What am I going to find in the laundry?

Could this be the answer to the mystery of the itching of the bum?  Or the grimace with the whisper of, "fire in the hole"?

Just plain scary:(


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Follow Your Instincts

I'm driving Sark to camp today at the Nashville Children's Theater.  We're chatting about our upcoming vacation.  He's talking about all of the places we've travelled and what trip he enjoyed the best.

We come to a stoplight.  Sark sees this place:



A little concerned, Sark says, "I don't like the looks of that place.  I don't think Sasha should ever take dance lessons there."

Although he enjoys teasing Sasha, I'm glad he has her best interest at heart:)

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Less Fabric

We're watching Sasha's dance recital as we're eating breakfast.

The DVD includes dances from groups ranging in age from 3 through high school.

Sark, after shoveling a spoonful of cereal in his mouth, "As you get older, you wear less fabric."

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Sasha's Concerns About My Death

So this morning...

Sasha says to me, "Umm, I don't want to talk about you dying, but if you did die.." 


Now I'm thinking we're about to have a heart to heart. 


"Umm, if you did die, would we go to after care, or be walkers, or car riders?" 


Thanks Sash! 


I know your friend Mia goes to after care and it sounds so fun, but tough! 


You're stuck with me, at least for now. 


Happy 6th Birthday my sweet girl!